I had the privilege of sitting through one of the top ten movies of all time yesterday: Hooch & Turner (although I fear my dyslexia is returning, since everywhere I look, it's listed as "Turner & Hooch"). What makes me bring that up is that while I was watching I logged onto the Internet Movie Database and discovered that there's absolutely no mention of Beasley, the actor who stole the movie in the role of Hooch. Beasley plays opposite the whiny, mugging Tom Hanks, best known for playing a supporting role to a fish named Daryl Hannah in "Splash" and to a soccer ball named Wilson in "Cast Away." And yet he's credited right at the top with no mention of Beasley anywhere. IMDB lets you know that Ted H. Hauser was the "assistant camera second unit" and even that Gary Wasserman was uncredited as "assistant to director," but Beasley... nada.
Just watch the stakeout scene where Hooch keeps watch in the front seat of the car while Turner dozes in the back. You'll realize that Beasley CARRIED Tom Hanks. Marlon Brando might be able to do the sloppy face-licking and the drooling close-ups, but nobody cried when HE died at the end of Apocalypse Now. And Tom Green might be able to eat cat turds and lick his genitals but not even hyenas think he's funny.
So tell me how they could fail to credit the star and one of the great performances in film history? Does it have something to do with the fact that Beasley's a dog, and Tom Hanks, Ted Hauser and Gary Wasserman are people? And that the IMDB is run by people? See a pattern here? Do I need to use the "d" word and play the species card? I hope not.