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    December 28, 2002

No, we haven't seen LOTR or Hairy Potter

chigger

I know. Long time. No post. So what. For my part, I was thinking that it was Woody's turn to post, but he's been preoccupied lately. For starters he got this massive writer's block trying to tell the story of how we saved the wild chicken that was running around lost in the woods. But it was a story of dubious merit with no happy ending. And I personally wasn't pleased with the way I was portrayed.

Then to make matters worse, Woody's best friend Fillmore was found dead under mysterious circumstances. The two were odd-couple close and the loss put Woody off his food for a good 15-20 minutes. (That's in dog years, so it's a lot longer than you think it is. At least for Woody.)

Then there was the whole unprecedented-natural-disaster-ice-storm-thing where Stump and Tweet left us alone to cope for seven freaking days (albeit again in dog years) with no water and no heat and no dog treats and trees are crashing all over the place and our walking paths are trashed and the ice builds up between your toes when you go walking around and forms teeny snowballs because it freezes to the hairs on your feet and makes walking out to take a pee painful which of course is a real thrill for us bitches who are stuck just sticking our butts on the ice and whizzing. Just the fact alone that I didn't crap in the house is gonna cost Stump and Tweet big time, and when you throw in all the rest of that nightmare, they're gonna be MY bitches for more than a little while. And I mean that in human years.

Then to top it off, we had to make our annual Blog Dogs holiday quicktime movie for friends and family. (It's such a pain dealing with those Hollywood types). So you can see we've been busy. Of course if you really needed a blog fix you could have visited Barney, the "other" White House Dog, who was supposedly giving tours of the White House using a Barney Cam strapped to his back. Cute, but it's no West Wing. And like everything else coming out of Washington, DC these days, you have to ask yourself what's REALLY going on. In this case, just how does Barney end up pictured in videos being shot with a camera that is supposedly attached to his back? Something's not right here and I think a Congressional investigation is in order. And if "serious" journalists won't keep this abuse of the American trust in the public eye until it's resolved, then it's up to us bloggers. Has Barney been cloned? And has this got anything to do with increased homeland security? And what's a scotch terriorist doing in the White House anyway? And does that mean Scotland is now part of the axis of evil? And is "axis of evil" really "live fo sixa" spelled backwards? And if so, what does that mean? (Drudge has got nothin' on this blogger.)