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No, we haven't seen LOTR or Hairy Potter

chigger

I know. Long time. No post. So what. For my part, I was thinking that it was Woody's turn to post, but he's been preoccupied lately. For starters he got this massive writer's block trying to tell the story of how we saved the wild chicken that was running around lost in the woods. But it was a story of dubious merit with no happy ending. And I personally wasn't pleased with the way I was portrayed.

Then to make matters worse, Woody's best friend Fillmore was found dead under mysterious circumstances. The two were odd-couple close and the loss put Woody off his food for a good 15-20 minutes. (That's in dog years, so it's a lot longer than you think it is. At least for Woody.)

Then there was the whole unprecedented-natural-disaster-ice-storm-thing where Stump and Tweet left us alone to cope for seven freaking days (albeit again in dog years) with no water and no heat and no dog treats and trees are crashing all over the place and our walking paths are trashed and the ice builds up between your toes when you go walking around and forms teeny snowballs because it freezes to the hairs on your feet and makes walking out to take a pee painful which of course is a real thrill for us bitches who are stuck just sticking our butts on the ice and whizzing. Just the fact alone that I didn't crap in the house is gonna cost Stump and Tweet big time, and when you throw in all the rest of that nightmare, they're gonna be MY bitches for more than a little while. And I mean that in human years.

Then to top it off, we had to make our annual Blog Dogs holiday quicktime movie for friends and family. (It's such a pain dealing with those Hollywood types). So you can see we've been busy. Of course if you really needed a blog fix you could have visited Barney, the "other" White House Dog, who was supposedly giving tours of the White House using a Barney Cam strapped to his back. Cute, but it's no West Wing. And like everything else coming out of Washington, DC these days, you have to ask yourself what's REALLY going on. In this case, just how does Barney end up pictured in videos being shot with a camera that is supposedly attached to his back? Something's not right here and I think a Congressional investigation is in order. And if "serious" journalists won't keep this abuse of the American trust in the public eye until it's resolved, then it's up to us bloggers. Has Barney been cloned? And has this got anything to do with increased homeland security? And what's a scotch terriorist doing in the White House anyway? And does that mean Scotland is now part of the axis of evil? And is "axis of evil" really "live fo sixa" spelled backwards? And if so, what does that mean? (Drudge has got nothin' on this blogger.)

Comments

chigger, i think you should have left a big steamer right in the middle of the floor and then tracked it all through the house. how dare they leave you alone for that long. and where was gilda during all this? i guess she got to go with them? i think she is a member of the "axis of evil".

woody, i'm sorry about fillmore.

aside from all the trauma, i hope you both had a good holiday.

ask a silly question...

i should have known there was a good reason you didn't post. next time, consider sending an SOS over the WWW!

I can see how your little holiday hell-on-earth is gonna cost your bipeds. Haven't they heard? payback's a bitch - & hell hath no fury like a bitch who's been left alone for 7 days in an ice storm.

tell the woodman i'm sorry for the loss of his friend (the one with the cool name). birds of a feather, and all that...

i'll check back in, and look forward to hearing the details about the wild chicken "rescue."

yeah, like i'd tune in to some politician dog, and a terrierorist at that!

hey, sorry about my double post on my last note - just a little slip of the paw, I guess.

Oh brother. Tweet and Stump did NOT leave us alone for seven days. They went out and got Pappy to take care of us. He was really nice to us and came over every day, even after the ice storm blocked all the roads. He had a lot of parties and one night there were about 20 humans in the hot tub. We did get a little thirsty after the water ran out and Pappy didn't notice. Personally, I wasn't as freaked out as the dogs, but then I never am. On another seasonal note, I'd like to point out that Woody and Chigger got Christmas presents and I got bupkis. You know, Stump used to be a cat man till these two obsequious bums showed up. Now he just ignores us and never buys cat treats. I have to make do with Tweet only, and even then I have to share her with that weirdo Guillermo. No wonder Merl gave up the ghost. It just goes to show you how despicably we have been relegated to second-class citizenship around here. The dog-poo ratio is on the rise.

totally off-topic, but how come we never see guillermo or hear much about him?

Guillermo not only doesn't speak English, he claims to be a Luddite and won't go near computers. There is not much to tell about him presently. He has an illustrious past: He is named atfer the famous performance artist Guillermo Gomez-Pena and in fact accompanied GGP to Tijuana for a while. But the GGP trans-border lifestyle was not for him. He used to be a wild hunter, but is on the decline now and just hangs around the house. He hasn't brought us a vole in months.

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