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Property is Theft


You know, sometimes I give humans a lot of grief, but the one thing I really admire about them is that they're neither greedy nor materialistic. For instance, when a human finds a really well-aged piece of raw meat, the kind of meat that makes you drool so heavy they measure it in gallons-per-minute. I mean a piece of meat so luscious you have to beat the flies off with a stick, with an aroma so fragrant that even from 100 feet away you have to take deep breaths to keep from swooning. Yes, I'm talking meat as good as it gets, and yet humans never even take a bite. Instead they share the whole thing amongst their animal friends.

Then there's Woody. Given the same opportunity, he'd suck that whole piece of meat down faster than a scared squirrel with bad gas and a tail on fire.

And the greed doesn't stop there. Woody has to have EVERYTHING. If it's bigger than a dog tag, he's gonna claim it and pee on it. He just spends all day pee-ing on things. "That's mine, and that's mine, and that's mine," he's saying. "This tree over here is mine, and this shrub is mine, and this fence is mine, and this hubcap is mine and this stick is mine and this rock is mine." Pu-leeese.

Compare that to human behavior. Humans don't seem to need to own hardly anything. Humans keep life simple. Granted, they all seem obsessed with laying claim to the big white drinking bowl in the bathroom, but other than that you only see occasional displays of materialism, and that's usually way out in the country where nobody else cares.

So what's all this got to do with us not posting for a couple of weeks? Well, it's like this. A while back I was working on a post about training humans to leave the refrigerator door open when Woody comes by and wants to post something about squirrel porno. I say, "As soon as I'm done, Woody," but Woody, being Woody, lifts his leg and says "No now. This is MY powerbook." And, well, he shorted out the monitor and fried the keyboard and it's taken two weeks to get it back from the shop.

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