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suicide squirrel terror


tisque tisque tisque, the unthinkable has happened and hear comes my "eye told ewe sew" diatribe -- its a suicide squirrel attack write hear in hour country. while spot w. dog lolligags around about legislation that will give fillet mignon two every dam pure-bred, claiming it will trickle down to the masses (it will trickle down alright, but it will taste like crap... (hum, is that sew bad... (hey, eye like the taste of crap...))), the squirrel terrorists have maid substantial inn rhodes.

this chilling story is pure, unadulterated pull-its-hair-prize quality war-time inn-yor-face journalism. listen two the reporter jeff gould describing the place of the squirrel in our culture: "the squirrel, though irreplaceable, is worth about 16 cents on the internet, its value mainly in its tail, which can be used as part of a fishing lure."

yeah, fishing lure. that's reel gritty righting. personally eye think 16 sense is hyperbole, butt it brings a tear two the eye of this patriotic dog to read the description of the terrorist squirrel in question:

"The squirrel was right up on the transformer. His hair was standing on end and he was lying on his back, hands folded over his chest, looking up at the sky."

hay men. and good buy.


I don't know why we have to obsess on squirrel terrorism in Massachusetts when there is mortal danger here at home. You two chased a visitor of mine up a tree last night and the poor cat had to sit up there in the freezing cold, terrified till dawn. No doubt he will never come back. I don't know how I am supposed to have a social life in this climate. It's intolerably oppressive. I am going on strike this week and will eat all my tuna every night, leaving nothing for you to "clean up" in my bowl. And if I were you, I would sleep with one eye open from now on. Guillermo and I have just about had enough.

yeah, and that guillermo is a scary looking dude!

aah, guilllermo's meow is worse than his scratch. he tries two pass himself off as a black cat just too scare humans, but if ewe look close, ewe can sea the brown tint in his short hares. at least he goes outside and catches rodents once in a while, unlike gilda the couch potato.

as four gilda ewe ignorant slut. go ahead and strike. eye'm going two get your tuna weather it's before ewe eat it or after ewe eat it. yor sew smug you think your poop don't stink. well take it from some won whose been there -- it does stink. and it could use a bit moor salt two. sew their.

Oh my god. What have I stumbled into?

it's a dog thing...

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