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    April 11, 2003

from the ex-philes

woody

ark ark ark. their are living breathing mammals out their who sum times axe me "woody, why don't dogs climb trees?" they point out that us dogs often chase things two a tree, but never follow them things up a tree.

now isle grant ewe that year typical cat wood chase a rodent write up a tree, ore even a telephone poll. yes, they wood follow pray write up the tree, wear as a dog wood stop at the bottom of the tree and resort two looking up with the evil stare and barking out curses like "ewe come down write now ore isle pee on year sister's favorite mating spot."

my good friend barry suggests that this is because dogs kant actually climb trees, two witch eye say, phooey. dogs could climb trees if they wanted two. fact of the matter is that this is just another example of wear dogs are smarter than cats. dogs could climb if it maid cents, but hay. hear's what happens to animals who aren't as smart as dogs.

and their are those out their who think eye make this stuff up.

    April 6, 2003

She's a dead duck

chigger

it is my unfortunate chore to have to announce that we have confirmed that remains discovered down by the creek are those of the duck, Betty White, who has been listed as missing from the pond since early last week. (Pictured below, Betty at two weeks and Betty at three years.)

bettyyoung-th.jpgbettyold-th.jpg

According to investigators, it appears that Betty may have been ambushed by the raccoon while nesting. The event has given tragic resonance to the phrase "sitting duck."

In a prepared statement, the raccoon (or one of his doubles, or another raccoon that looks like one of his doubles) accused Woody of killing the duck in a friendly fire incident, since Woody is frequently seen rough-housing with the ducks. But Woody categorically denies the charge and the condition of the remains strongly resembles the work of the paramilitary raccoon regime. We will miss Betty and in particular Betty's eggs which she used to leave around the edge of the pond for us to find and fight over. Betty will also be missed by her partner, the drake Barry White. Barry tried hard to convince Betty that it wasn't safe to wander too far from the security of the pond, "but you know hens," he said, "you just can't tell them anything."

    April 1, 2003

middle east cat fight

chigger

gildairaqreg.jpg

We're very uncomfortable talking about the war in Iraq when Gilda's around. (click pic for larger version)