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gerretDog Park Literature

by Gerret, file under: My Creative Side | Shameless Commerce


You know sometimes, when I'm not out bucklin' my swash, maybe because it's raining or something, The Gerret engages in more literary pursuits such as playing charades with Stump and Tweet:

"Two words.

"First word, first syllable: [I move my paw in circles to indicate 'stir']

"First word, second syllable: [I gesture toward toward the area between my ribs and my hips to indicate 'loin']

"Second word: [I run outside, grab a stick and bring it back in the house. I pretend to pound it into the floor to indicate 'stake'].

"Okay, now put it all together... 'stir'... 'loin'... 'stake'...

"Come on come on come on. This is important. You can get it. I know you can...

"Noooo. The answer is not 'Old Roy's soy-based dry dog food.'


So when charades goes bad, I just settle in with a book. Yesterday I got a good one in the mail called Dog Park Diary: The Social Round of Goody Beagle as told to Kim Pearson. Now before you start thinking this is another one of The Gerret's light summer reading books, let me point out that this book has pictures AND words. And it's 58 pages long! That's more than 400 in dog pages, so you'll know when I tell you that this is some serious dog literature.

The book is an autobiographical telling of Goody Beagle's daily adventures at the dog park. Accompanied by her own photographer, Goody records the sometimes poignant, sometimes harrowing events she witnesses. The prose runs from warm-hearted praise to trenchant critique of the park's denizons as they run, fight, sniff and poop. Here's an excerpt:

"Crockett Mutt came to the Dog Park for the first time ever. Crockett had been abandoned by his old humans and had to live on the streets. Other dogs were mean to him and he didn't have enough to eat. This had a bad effect on his personality. He thinks everyone is out to get him."

Did I enjoy the book? Well yes. However, the more I read the more skeptical I became. I go to the dog park. Maybe not every day, but sometimes. And I've never seen Goody Beagle there, or any of the other dogs she mentions. I was starting to think that this was another one of those fake autobiographies where the author just makes everything up. How disappointing.

Then it hit me like a ton a bricks. What if there's ANOTHER dog park in the universe? Maybe Goody's dog park is in a parallel universe that's real but I just can't see it? Whoa. And what if there's more than two dog parks? What if there's thousands of parallel universes and every one of them has a dog park? And... and... and... I gotta quit now. My mind is exploding.

So obviously I have to give Dog Park Diary five Gerrets. In fact I might have to go out and start a cult based on this book. More than one dog park. I get chills just thinking about it.

Dog Park Diary: 5 Gerrets

Comments (1)

Goody Beagle here. Thanks for reading my book! I promise I live right here on Earth, not in a parallel universe, whatever that is -- I'm only a dog, not a scientist. You must be a very smart dog (of course, most of us are.)


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