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April 5, 2010

gerretFantastic Mr. Fox

by Gerret, file under: Shameless Commerce


Have you ever tried to stare at a television screen for 87 straight minutes? EIGHTY SEVEN MINUTES? Sheesh. No sane mammal would ever do that. That's more than TEN HOURS in dog time.

Oh well, there's probably no moral high ground here.

My good friends at some Hollywood-type marketing agency sent me another DVD to review. Specifically, "The Fantastic Mr. Fox." That's cool. As The Gerret has said more than once: will perform for treats.

The subtext here is that I'm late. They're pissed. I'm crankin' it out.

But really. 87 straight minutes? That's asking a lot from a dog.

So here's The Gerret's review of The Fantastic Mr. Fox.

But hey! Stop the presses. Before the movie even starts, there's trailers, and one of those trailers is for... drum roll... "Marley & Me: The Terrible 2's." I repeat: "Marley & Me: The Terrible 2's." Get it? A sequel to "Marley & Me."

Now I don't mean to get too all full of myself, but if you're one of the half-dozen readers who read my review of the original "Marley & Me," you'll know that (***Spoiler Alert***) MARLEY DIED. (***End of Spoiler Alert***). Make of that what you will.

But I'm here to talk about "The Fantastic Mr. Fox," which I guess they sent to me because foxes are sort of like dogs. So they figured I'd like this for the same reasons humans like "Bedtime for Bonzo." Right? You do like "Bedtime for Bonzo", right? Because Bonzo is sorta like... well, you know where I'm going with that.




Enough complaining.

"The Fantastic Mr. Fox" star George Clooney and Meryl Streep in the most amazing roles of their careers. The both lost a ton of weight, got a bunch of plastic surgery and glued hair all over their bodies. Robert DeNiro eat your heart out. I kid you not when I say Streep is a fox in this movie.

Anyway, I don't want to spoil the ending, so I'm not going to tell you anything about the movie. Just let me say that if you've ever been dissed by a rich farmer, or had a possum for a friend, or enjoyed Bill Murray in "The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou" you'll love this movie.

So what's the verdict? The Gerret, as always, easily impressed, just has to give "The Fantastic Mr. Fox" four Gerrets.

The Fantastic Mr. Fox: 4.5 Gerrets

April 16, 2010

maggieIris you were here!!!

by Maggie, file under: Maggie Unmuzzled


IRIS you were here!!! Bwahhahahahaha!!!! Sometimes I crack myself up!! Wicked funny!!

Maggie here JICYHAFTO!!!!

The weather is here, Iris you were beautiful!!! Hahahaha!!! That's twice I made me laugh!!!

So you gotta look at this video! I mean it's like almost totally awesome!!! Technically, that's not The Gerret in this video, but I'm betting him and this hot dog prolly both came from the same sausage factory!! ROTFLMTO!!! Dog park, ball park, parallel park... don't matter to these dogs, it's all just poop-poop-pa-dooooo!!!! O-M-G gross!!!

Check it out!! Gotta go!!! CUL8R!!!

April 29, 2010

maggieFour lucky rabbit's feet


Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! This is just sooooooooooo cuUUute!!!!

Maggie here!!!! Look what Slippers brought home last night!!! OMG! I guess because it was just rainy and stuff and he was feeling nice and stuff and he brought this dude inside and stuff sorta! Awesome!! Where does the warm and fuzzy stop!!! The little dude was just totally squeaking a lot at first, but once Tweet took control things settled down! Anyway, I named her Spot! Isn't that perfect!! Tweet wanted to name her Thumper, but I'm all like "Thumper? Thumper? That's soooo lame!"

FWIW Tweet is the same person who wanted to name Scoobie Sinatra "Bambi" LOL!!! Where does she get this stuff?!!!

Anyway, once she dried off and the rain stopped Tweet took Spot back out and turned her loose and she ran off into the woods. Probly gonna hit the mall!!! Then go hang with Scoobie!!! LOL girlfriends!!!!

And so anyway The Gerret has got his collar all in a bunch over something he calls the supreme cord decision allowing videos that show violence toward animals. Gag me with a chicken bone!!! You want to see just total violence and degradation perpetrated towards dogs? Huh? Huh? Check this out!!! GaGa is right!!! Or maybe GagGag!!! Hahahahahaha!!

Gotta go!!! CUL8R!!!

About April 2010

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