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June 4, 2008

gerretLassie we hardly knew ya

by Gerret

The Snarling Gerret

The Gerret is a bit out of sorts today. I just learned that Lassie, whom I had just written about in my last post, will not be coming home. He apparently was not able to overcome the conditions of his abuse. Am I surprised? I guess not. Disappointed? Certainly. What's really gnawing at me is that Stump keeps trying to convince me that I shouldn't growl at or bite humans, and I'm like "why the heck not?"

On a more positive note, the word out there on the dog-cosmic-consciousness street (Yes, we do communicate telepathically and you don't. It's because we have tails that act as antennas for sending and receiving signals, but that's a science lecture for another time.) is that Lassie is due back soon. Below I've downloaded images from the dog-cosmic-consciousness wiki that show Lassie's previous life, his current life, and his next life. Looks like he'll be kickin' ass and takin' names real soon. I wouldn't want to be the dude that left that dog in the ditch.

Lassie

July 15, 2008

maggieHome is where the food is

by Maggie

Slippers on Sofa

Hi! Maggie here again!! Things are just soooo busy around here!!!! I can't even keep up! Gosh it's been more than ten dog weeks since I wrote anything! Duh!!! You probably figured that out on your own!

But hey, we got new animals hanging around!!! It's soooo cool! That first picture, that's Slippers, she's a kitten, or maybe she's a he, what-evah!!! Slippers is awesome!!! Sooooo teeny-tiny! Slippers showed up on the road by our farm! She was with four brothers and sisters, but they wouldn't come and now we can't find them!!! Major bummer!! But Slippers loves it here!

But wait!!! That's not all! We also have Whinehouse visiting thanks to Gerret! Stump saw Whinehouse on the road twice but couldn't get anywhere near her, even though she didn't have any place else to go! But Gerret was along for the ride, so that after they got home the second time, Gerret ran off on his own, and a couple of hours later he returned with Whinehouse!!!! Totally awesome! My hero!!! (He's sooooo dreamy!)

Whinehouse

Whinehouse is an older dog but a really really really tiny one! She's older than me but I could still play house with her as the baby! Har!!! And speaking of babies, Stump says that Whinehouse looks like she recently had some babies! But where are they? We looked and looked and looked but it seems that whoever brought Whinehouse out to the road didn't bring the baby puppies along!! Maybe that's why Whinehouse keeps going away and coming back! She's probly looking for her puppies!!! That's what I'd do! Awesome!!! But sad!

I call her Whinehouse because she stands outside and whines and then she sneaks through the dog door at night and sleeps in the house!!! She doesn't trust Stump and Tweet, so she hides during the day, but she comes back at night to eat and sleep!! Stump says she's probly a "puppy-mill dog" that's "outlived her usefulness" and "never been socialized with humans" whatever that means!! But we feed her and she's hanging around so maybe she'll be something else next!

I just don't know what it is with these humans around here!!! They take their cats and dogs out for a drive, let them out to run around, and then they forget to take them with them when they leave!!! Geez, it even happened to me!! I just hate it when that happens!! Bummer!

And speaking of bummers, that Slippers better watch herself or she's going to be sooooo sorry!! She's flirting with Gerret and that's just totally not awesome!!! He better get that dreamy look off his face or I'm going to have to kick his butt!! And I can! You believe it sistahs!!! But I gotta go!! Yours truly!!!

Gerret and Slippers

P.S. - I didn't even mention the awesome new chicks we have!!! Too late now!!! Later!!!

March 5, 2010

gerretOn a clear day he can smell forever

by Gerret

chiggers-birthday.jpg

The other day was ol' Chigger's 15th birthday. (The Gerret has been instructed not to mention how much that is in dog years. We just say "15" and leave it at that.) Here's Maggie and me with the Chigster in our official portrait from the occasion, all formal and stuff since Chigger doesn't have a lot of patience for monkey business or horse play and the like. I had this really cool idea that involved new tricks, but, well, let's just say that dog don't hunt. And neither does Chigger. But I'll give her this, she may be old, but she sure does smell. With her nose I mean. She doesn't see so good so she gets around by smelling and stuff. That's what I meant. Really.

Anyway, to honor her I thought I'd drag out one of her old blog posts from back in July of aught-three, way before my time. It featured her Master's Thesis on "The Semiotics of French Dog Signs." Apparently it was real popular at the Sore-bones or something. Click the picture for the real goods.

weinerdog1.jpg

September 15, 2011

gerretSwirlin' on the Beach

by Gerret

gerretsunrise.jpg

Well, The Gerret learned two things last weekend. First, I never want to do anything that requires a life jacket, and second, I never want to do anything that requires a parachute.

And that's not weird.

I Googled me and sure enough it said I was a land mammal, emphasis on the "land." That's "LAND" mammal. It doesn't say anything about water and nothing about air except when it comes to drinking and breathing which I can do just fine with all four feet resting on dirt.

You see, Stump and Tweet tricked me and Maggie into the car and hauled us off to a couple of places called Nags Head and Kitty Hawk. What a bummer. One place was all about drowning, and the other was about jumping up and not coming down. This isn't what dogs are paid to do.

There we met up with Irene, Girlfriend, Sassie, Andage, Chap and Bodee.

Andage was all about surfing, which is apparently some variation on taking a big flat stick out into the world's largest water bowl, jumping on top of it for a while and then falling over. If I did that they'd take me to the vet.

familysurf.jpg

We did a lot of this at sunrise for obvious reasons. Who'd want to get caught trying to find a gnarly tubular something-or-other in a giant, over-seasoned water bowl? Plus Stump and Tweet kept picking up our turds and putting 'em in plastic bags. Gross! What are they saving 'em for, Christmas? How weird is that? And they complain about dog breath.

maggiesunrise.jpglynngirlfriend.jpgmaggiegerretsunrise.jpg

So on the left that's Maggie at sunrise, then Bodee with Girlfriend and Maggie watching Andage with his giant flat stick, and finally The Gerret trying to educate Maggie about riptides.

Speaking of which, Maggie drank the water. Yours truly did not. Now she's cross-eyed. What a putz. With her weight problem she should be avoiding salt big time.

maggerretirene.jpg

This is me and Maggie with our new housemate Irene. She showed up at our place right around the same time as Hurricane Irene, so we all call her Irene. Stump says she's a foster dog. I don't know who the Fosters are, but I wish they'd pick up their dog because she's cramping my style. You do the math. Pork chop leftovers divided by two dogs vs. pork chop leftovers divided by three dogs. I rest my case.

irene.jpg

The problem is Stump and Tweet and Andage can't say enough good things about Irene, so if you really care about The Gerret you'll adopt this dog NOW. Or I'm gonna start sending out resumes.

kittyhawk.jpg

As for Kitty Hawk, that was even weirder. People sitting on sticks and jumping into the air and not coming down in a timely manner. Sheesh. I know you're with me on this one. Plus it isn't even in Kitty Hawk, it's in Kill Devil Hills. And what is a kitty hawk anyway? Could we get a few around our place? We got kitties.

maggiesurf.jpg

About Doggedly dogging the dogs

This page contains an archive of all entries posted to Gerret Swirled in the Doggedly dogging the dogs category. They are listed from oldest to newest.

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