Maggie Unmuzzled Archives

June 26, 2008

maggieScooby dooby doo!

by Maggie


Hi! I'm Maggie!! You might have like heard of me from Gerret's earlier posts. I'm going to be guest-blogging on Gerret Swirled! Why? Only because I have The Gerret totally wrapped around my little dewclaw! He sooo wants me to be his girlfriend!!!

First things first! My BFs ask, "What's Gerret really like? He's so super cute!"

What a question! Well, he is a bit of a swash bungler...


...but he's also partially awesome in a totally awesome kind of way!!! Think Milo in The Mask when he had the mask on!!!


Don't even ask if we're sleeping together cuz, you know, that's not polite!! And don't look at this picture! (NSFW)

What about me? My birthday's around Valentine's Day, my favorite color is paisley, my favorite food is the stuff in Chigger's bowl, and when I grow up I want to be a miniature poodle!! I like to take pictures! I started puppy kindergarten school last week!! Barf!! (No, I don't mean school is bad barf, I mean I totally barf every time I go there in the car!) I think I'll major in literary criticism!! Just the parts that talk about dogs!!

This week I'm studying Canterbury Tails by Chaucer:

Ran Colle, oure dogge, and Talbot, and Gerland, And Malkyn with a dystaf in hir hand, Ran cow and calf, and eek the verray hogges, So were they fered for berkying of the dogges

"berkying of the dogges!!?!" Awesome, except what's with the spell-checker, Dude?

But since The Gerret can only like seem to write about himself, you know, what I'm going to do is grab a bit of blogtopia for the rest of us around this place!!! For instance, here's a very very very young guy we met yesterday when we were out walking!


He was only maybe like 10-15 hours old and that's in dog hours!! Sooo cool!!!


I named him Scooby Sinatra! It just seemed to fit!! Anyway, Scooby's mom was hanging around so after a short chat we left them to go do their deer thing! Maybe I'll IM him later!! But I gotta go!!!! Yours truly!!

July 3, 2008

maggieIt's a natural holly day!

by Maggie


Hi! Maggie here again! Big big news!!! Tomorrow is Gerret's birthday! He's going to be 15!!! (That's one in two-legged years.) Totally awesome!! Is he excited?!! No, or so he says, but I'm like all "yeah I'm soooo sure!"

He's soooo cool!! He casually points out that his birthday is the ford of jewel eye, which has been declared a natural holly day!!! (Chigger just shakes her head when he says that. I guess she doesn't care much for trees.)


It's surprise party time!!!! Awesome! But I gotta go!!!! Yours truly!!

July 4, 2008


by Maggie

Maggie Partying

Yes!! Yes!! Yes!! I threw The Gerret an awesome surprise birthday par-tay today!!! Now he's sooooo old!!! Har!!

Gerret Party Boy

Gerret, Maggie, Chigger

So I made like this totally awesome birthday cake!!! It was an organic sausage layer cake frosted with JIF peanut butter! It was sooooo cool!!

Gerret with cake

Here's Chigger being a butt and scarfing up some of Gerret's cake! She's like such a bee-atch! Oooh! Don't you dare tell her I said that! Nah, she's cool, she just thinks she knows more cuz she's older!

Gerret and Chigger eat cake

So here's the Gerret after partying all day!! Har!!! LMAO!!!

Gerret asleep

But I guess we must have made too much noise, cuz now the neighbors are all setting off big explosions!! It's sooo lame!! And like scary! Chigger says it happens every ford of jewel eye around here and it happens like every day in a rock!! Exposions in a rock? I'm so sure!! But I gotta go!!!! Yours truly!!

July 15, 2008

maggieHome is where the food is

by Maggie

Slippers on Sofa

Hi! Maggie here again!! Things are just soooo busy around here!!!! I can't even keep up! Gosh it's been more than ten dog weeks since I wrote anything! Duh!!! You probably figured that out on your own!

But hey, we got new animals hanging around!!! It's soooo cool! That first picture, that's Slippers, she's a kitten, or maybe she's a he, what-evah!!! Slippers is awesome!!! Sooooo teeny-tiny! Slippers showed up on the road by our farm! She was with four brothers and sisters, but they wouldn't come and now we can't find them!!! Major bummer!! But Slippers loves it here!

But wait!!! That's not all! We also have Whinehouse visiting thanks to Gerret! Stump saw Whinehouse on the road twice but couldn't get anywhere near her, even though she didn't have any place else to go! But Gerret was along for the ride, so that after they got home the second time, Gerret ran off on his own, and a couple of hours later he returned with Whinehouse!!!! Totally awesome! My hero!!! (He's sooooo dreamy!)


Whinehouse is an older dog but a really really really tiny one! She's older than me but I could still play house with her as the baby! Har!!! And speaking of babies, Stump says that Whinehouse looks like she recently had some babies! But where are they? We looked and looked and looked but it seems that whoever brought Whinehouse out to the road didn't bring the baby puppies along!! Maybe that's why Whinehouse keeps going away and coming back! She's probly looking for her puppies!!! That's what I'd do! Awesome!!! But sad!

I call her Whinehouse because she stands outside and whines and then she sneaks through the dog door at night and sleeps in the house!!! She doesn't trust Stump and Tweet, so she hides during the day, but she comes back at night to eat and sleep!! Stump says she's probly a "puppy-mill dog" that's "outlived her usefulness" and "never been socialized with humans" whatever that means!! But we feed her and she's hanging around so maybe she'll be something else next!

I just don't know what it is with these humans around here!!! They take their cats and dogs out for a drive, let them out to run around, and then they forget to take them with them when they leave!!! Geez, it even happened to me!! I just hate it when that happens!! Bummer!

And speaking of bummers, that Slippers better watch herself or she's going to be sooooo sorry!! She's flirting with Gerret and that's just totally not awesome!!! He better get that dreamy look off his face or I'm going to have to kick his butt!! And I can! You believe it sistahs!!! But I gotta go!! Yours truly!!!

Gerret and Slippers

P.S. - I didn't even mention the awesome new chicks we have!!! Too late now!!! Later!!!

February 1, 2009

maggieWhere's my Oscar?

by Maggie

Maggie on Bed

Hi! It's me! Maggie! Again!!! It's like my birthday today! I'm a big girl now! No more puppy dog food for this teenager! And I'm sooooo super jazzed!!!! Because The Gerret is like soooo jealous and all up in my grill! What-evah! I used to think he was cool, but sometimes he's just soooo dorky!

Anyway, I've been like working on my first movie! Yes! Me making a movie! It's all done and it's totally awesome!!! It's called "Pup Fiction"!!! It's sorta like that other movie only different! Of course because I'm still the kid around here I had to use like the really really really old equipment. It soooo super sucks! It really blows chunks!!! So don't get all Ebert on me! Just chill out and enjoy it!! It stars yours truly and the other dog! And remember! It's my birthday!!!

August 19, 2009

maggieThe Sisterhood of the Traveling Paws

by Maggie


Maggie here! OMG, OMG, OMG!!!! You won't believe what I did! Literally! It was sooooo way too cool! Remember SawsyPaws?!! Yes! My sister!!! We're related! In fact, we always have been! We're like BFF&E!


ANYWAY! We went to visit Sawsy! She has a dog house on a really really REALLY big pond with really cool water and like a really cool boat! It was awesome!

Here we are on the boat, catchin' some rays! OMG we are just soooo cool! I wish that used-cat-litter-for-brains-fool that dumped us on the road last year as puppies could see us now! What a total Loser!


Here's The Gerret on the boat! Ha ha ha ha! Can you say Barf?!


But like actually, The Gerret is pretty cool, he's just not an Aquarius like us! More of a land-lubber! LOL!!!!

Anyway, here's how we roll!!!

August 21, 2009

maggieThere's a place in France...

by Maggie


Remember Slim?! The Snake?! The star of The Gerret's totally awesome movie "Snake on a Plain"? Well OMG, he's back!!! And this time he's got a girlfriend and he's being like just totally romantic! Ha!

You probly wonder, what's a romantic snake do? LOL! Well here's some dude named E. Mohrman on eHow to explain it all for you!

Female [snakes] are resistant to mating from the beginning and throughout the process. Male snakes must hold females down with their heads and coil their tails around the female's. The female will continuously try to slither off, dragging the male along as he attempts to line up their cloacas. When successfully aligned — an effort that can take anywhere from a few hours to a few days...

Anyway, you get the picture! "A few hours to a few days"???!!! Sheesh!!! And I totally don't want to even know what a "cloacas" is! ROFL!!! Anyway, here's my latest movie, starring Slim!!! Careful! It's hot! NSFW!!! Ha Ha Ha!!

Gotta run! CUL8R!!! And watch out for your cloacas!!!! Ha! Ha! Ha!

April 16, 2010

maggieIris you were here!!!

by Maggie


IRIS you were here!!! Bwahhahahahaha!!!! Sometimes I crack myself up!! Wicked funny!!

Maggie here JICYHAFTO!!!!

The weather is here, Iris you were beautiful!!! Hahahaha!!! That's twice I made me laugh!!!

So you gotta look at this video! I mean it's like almost totally awesome!!! Technically, that's not The Gerret in this video, but I'm betting him and this hot dog prolly both came from the same sausage factory!! ROTFLMTO!!! Dog park, ball park, parallel park... don't matter to these dogs, it's all just poop-poop-pa-dooooo!!!! O-M-G gross!!!

Check it out!! Gotta go!!! CUL8R!!!

April 29, 2010

maggieFour lucky rabbit's feet

by Maggie


Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! This is just sooooooooooo cuUUute!!!!

Maggie here!!!! Look what Slippers brought home last night!!! OMG! I guess because it was just rainy and stuff and he was feeling nice and stuff and he brought this dude inside and stuff sorta! Awesome!! Where does the warm and fuzzy stop!!! The little dude was just totally squeaking a lot at first, but once Tweet took control things settled down! Anyway, I named her Spot! Isn't that perfect!! Tweet wanted to name her Thumper, but I'm all like "Thumper? Thumper? That's soooo lame!"

FWIW Tweet is the same person who wanted to name Scoobie Sinatra "Bambi" LOL!!! Where does she get this stuff?!!!

Anyway, once she dried off and the rain stopped Tweet took Spot back out and turned her loose and she ran off into the woods. Probly gonna hit the mall!!! Then go hang with Scoobie!!! LOL girlfriends!!!!

And so anyway The Gerret has got his collar all in a bunch over something he calls the supreme cord decision allowing videos that show violence toward animals. Gag me with a chicken bone!!! You want to see just total violence and degradation perpetrated towards dogs? Huh? Huh? Check this out!!! GaGa is right!!! Or maybe GagGag!!! Hahahahahaha!!

Gotta go!!! CUL8R!!!

August 14, 2010

maggieHot Chicks!

by Maggie


Hi y'all! It's ME! Maggie! The hardest working tongue in two counties!

How am I? Awesome! How are you? Awesome! Isn't that just totally awesome! Been just soooo totally busy lately, what with all the eating and sleeping! Woof!

maggietongue.jpgHad to take a moment from my busy schedule to belately introduce some new members of the pack or flock or what-ev-ah! It's our newest chickens Bacon, Lettuce and Tomato! They are the three young thangs appearing in the above photo in eggs-actly that order! From left to right! They are... you guessed it... TOTALLY AWESOME! Around here we just call them "The Sandwich!" Ha-ha-ha! I make myself laugh! Oh well! Gotta go! Food to eat and naps to take! CUL8R!

About Maggie Unmuzzled

This page contains an archive of all entries posted to Gerret Swirled in the Maggie Unmuzzled category. They are listed from oldest to newest.

Doggedly dogging the dogs is the previous category.

My Creative Side is the next category.

Many more can be found on the main index page or by looking through the archives.

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